What will you do if it all goes wrong? I have a back-up plan. Working for Amazon. Its Luton warehouse offers tours to the public, and I went along to see what my future may hold. The vast hangar sits in a field of mega-sheds near the M25 where built-up London peters out into scrub and green farmland. I arrived at a bright-yellow security gate where I was greeted by Amin and Sophie who seemed thrilled to welcome our party. Six in all. Sophie asked us – or perhaps ordered us – to deposit our phones in a locker whose key she retained during our visit. Amin explained the rules. Follow me. Walk within the blue lines. Ascend staircases on the left. Use the handrail. Off we went.

Amin took the lead while Sophie covered our rear to prevent soloists from wandering off on unsupervised adventures. First, we entered a vast cafeteria where a lone diner forked food into his mouth. Next, a rumpus room with scatter cushions, a ping-pong table and a flat-screen TV. The place was vacant apart from two unsmiling males who played pool on a suspiciously new table. Were they actors? Probably not. Onward.

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