A few weeks ago, an Irish Times columnist, Fintan O’Toole, wrote about receiving a copy of a 1930s book of etiquette issued by the Christian Brothers – a religious teaching order once notorious for the liberal use of the strap – called Christian Politeness and Counsels for Youth. He had fun mocking the strictures intended for the benefit of working-class Catholic boys. Indeed, he added his own: ‘Boys subject to physical or sexual abuse by Christian Brothers should remain silent on the subject and avoid at all costs giving scandal.’ Ha ha.

Well, when I looked at it, I found myself rooting for the Brothers and their insistence that when in repose the mouth should not remain partly open, that you should masticate with the mouth closed and that politeness should be observed even when a person dines alone.

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It’s easy to dismiss etiquette guides as fussy, old-fashioned or desperate. But they are mocked by those who don’t need them. For those of us who made our way into circles we weren’t born to, they are the enablers of social mobility. They are indispensable, even if they add to your angst. I went from Ireland as a teenager........

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