Hell, I have come to realise, may not be other people, but repeated, everlasting exposure to 30-second radio adverts featuring one or more of the following: 

A voiceover so annoying it creates a Pavlovian resentment – hatred, even – towards the relevant product or company.

A poisonous and moronically simplistic earworm jingle.

A terms and conditions bit at the end which may contain even more words than the actual advert itself. 

And sometimes – abandon hope all ye who hear it – you get all three of the above in one cosmically hellish half minute. 

Aural exhibit A: McDonald’s ads voiced by Adolescence star Stephen Graham. A fine actor, sure, but for some reason, in this case, he always adopts a treacly, weirdly childish tone, followed by a maddeningly twee jingle – a two-second whistled monstrosity – before launching into a speeded up ‘Ts and Cs’ coda, sounding like a chipmunk on speed, which accounts for nearly a third of the advert’s running time.

Imagine hearing this McDonald’s advert addendum, at regular intervals, all day long:

Offer only available at participating restaurants valid only while stocks last specific serving times apply this offer cannot be used in conjunction with other offers or discounts only one transaction per customer availability may vary by location full promotional terms and conditions available on the McDonald’s website or app.

Offer only available at participating........

© The Spectator