Dumped Kyle Sandilands is demanding respect. There’s a reason he doesn’t deserve it

March 20, 2026 — 11:00am

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Oh yeah, hi, is that you, Kyle? It’s Michelle from KIIS-Off HQ. Long time critic, first time caller. Now, don’t go lunging for the dump button there – I rang to say that I miss you like an enema and have spent the mornings using my toilet seat as a security blanket since your departure from the airwaves. Colour me nostalgic, but the school run just isn’t the same without all the references to foreign genitals and pubic hair.

Now that you’re suddenly off the air, breakfast radio is all traffic chaos this, news headlines that. Nary a sausage nor a taco in sight. (Remember that segment? The one where you tried to guess people’s gender based solely on their voices? So reductive. So funny. So. Many. Good. Times. Sob.) Where is the nudity? Where are the sex games? What is the world coming to when I wake up and have to call myself a fat ugly past-it old slag instead of relying on you to publicly humiliate any woman who dares to criticise you? Must I do........

© The Age