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At the store, I gave my son a bag and told him to be careful; it contained a glass bottle. I told him to hold it firmly. But he did not. The bag fell and hit the floor, and the bottle broke.

I loudly overreacted just outside the store. At the time, as I was yelling, I knew my reaction didn't match the size of the bottle; I had overreacted, as many of us do, and I had no control over it.

In the car, he started in and did not stop: How I overreacted. How it was only a bottle. How I always overreact. And I sat there driving, getting smaller, shrinking, carrying out the analyzing in a way that every parent goes through, the one which ends in being a terrible mother.

Then about halfway home, I realized: I am allowed to be angry!

I am allowed to be upset in a supermarket about a broken bottle. It was not a great reaction. But it was human, and it cannot break us; if it can, then something is terribly wrong. This movement seems small, but it was transformative in the way I related to my anger and reactions as a parent.

The Half of the Curriculum We Skip

Most of the time, parents focus on kindness: sharing, using words, and saying sorry. The other half of what we were taught was harder: How to be furious at someone you love and still be at the table with them that night. How to say the sharp thing, the one you would take back, and then find your way back from it.We raise children who can collaborate........

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