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Rescue money often substitutes for a hard conversation.

When there's no plan attached to the money, there's no reason for anything to change.

The goal is accountability, not punishment.

Back in 1973, Pink Floyd built an entire song around the strange hold that money has over us. He sang about how it can dominate a person's thinking, even when no one's talking about it out loud. Half a century later, I hear that same undertone in almost every session I have with parents of struggling adult children. Nobody wants to talk about the money, but it's always in the room.Here are some examples from my parent coaching work (names changed here) of what I mean. A father named Roger told me he "just helped out a little" with his 27-year-old son, Jake's, rent—but this was for the ninth month in a row. A mother, Louisa, described covering her daughter, Lilly's,........

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