‘If there is one thing I dislike,’ said P.G. Wodehouse, ‘it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.’ His grievance was conversational, mine is nominative: I pity those with made-up names.

What’s wrong with Zionism, Hugh Laurie?

Is it time to scrub Andrew from the line of succession?

Simon Sebag Montefiore

My run-in with Stalin’s trolls

There was a time when names came from a modest catalogue: the Bible, aunts and uncles of fond memory, a wider culture that worshipped the royals. Maturity involves a conservative deference to tradition. One learns to presume that norms have more value than drawbacks: dress in an ordinary style, have the manners people expect – and bear a name that connects you to others.

Beware any job that requires new clothes, said Thoreau. He meant coats and trousers but it applies to birth certificates, too. Yes, it’s nice not to be the same as other kids in your class, but what you want is a name that’s ordinary – that doesn’t draw attention to itself but leaves life up to you. A patient teacher will ask if it’s pronounced ‘Kai-lee-thra’ or ‘Kee-lee-thra’ but she’s grateful her own name is Anna. Were Grimes........

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