When Taylor Swift, the billionaire pop star, announced her engagement to Travis Kelce, the rather less wealthy (although still multi-millionaire) NFL player, she chose to mark the occasion by declaring, “Your English teacher and your gym teacher are getting married.” It was rather a nice way for Swift to refer to herself and her forthcoming nuptials. Those who, like me, have always been fans of both her and her music had hopes that her wedding to Kelce would not become the usual hideous exercise in celebrity tackiness.

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Boy, was I wrong. While the Swift-Kelces, as they may now refer to themselves, have every right to celebrate the happiest day of their lives in whatever style they see fit, the mega-ceremony that was held in New York’s Madison Square Garden last weekend was the last word in empty glitz and excess. It sits at odds with Swift’s carefully cultivated image of literate intelligence and (whisper it) slight asexuality that has ensured her standing as the world’s most successful musician.

When I initially heard the rumors that Swift would be getting wed at a 20,000-person venue (next engagement: Bon Jovi’s Forever Tour tomorrow night) I dismissed them as the usual fanciful nonsense that celebrities like to put out to throw photographers and newshounds – to say nothing of the rabid fandom – off the scent. But, no, on the Friday of........

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