What Is Self-Control?

Take our Procrastination Test

Find a therapist to help with self-control

Will is something different than conscious intention and willpower.

Willpower tends to be undermined and weakened by unconscious intentionality.

Willpower can be strengthened by becoming more conscious of one's true will.

What is "willpower"? Why is it so difficult to overcome certain problems or attain one's personal goals through the assertion of willpower? What makes it so challenging, for instance, to lose weight, stop procrastinating, or quit drinking or using drugs, despite our best efforts? Or to exercise regularly, meditate, eat better, or get sufficient sleep—despite knowing that doing such things would be in our best interest? We try repeatedly to succeed in such efforts, with the best intentions, but inevitably seem to either fall short or fail. As St. Paul the Apostle laments, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do."

What goes wrong? What happens to our so-called willpower? Willpower is commonly defined by the dictionary as the ability to control one's own actions, emotions, thoughts, impulses, or urges and refers to the "strength of one's will, especially in the exercise of self-control." When we are unsuccessful in such efforts, we typically attribute this failure to an absence of willpower. We also tend to attribute such apparent weakness to a lack of moral fiber, will, inner strength, or self-discipline. We tend to blame ourselves and feel guilty for this perceived weakness, which gradually erodes our self-esteem, integrity, and sense of agency. But, in fact, it is a far more profound phenomenon, caused by the inner conflict between our intentions and intentionality. The real underlying problem is that we are not of one mind on these matters. We are a house divided.

As previously discussed (see my prior post), the concept and experiential discovery of one's will is central to successful psychotherapy of any sort. But, when used in this sense, "will" is something different from what we commonly mean by "willpower." Otto Rank understood that the human will cannot not be expressed in some form or........

© Psychology Today