What Is Emotion Regulation?

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Hyperarousal and hypoarousal are contrasting patterns of nervous system activation.

The best coping strategy depends on your nervous system's level of activation.

Hyperarousal requires coping strategies that decrease activation to promote feelings of safety.

Hypoarousal requires coping strategies that increase activation without becoming overwhelmed.

If you've ever thought, "I tried the coping strategy everyone recommends, so why do I feel worse?" you're recognizing something important. We often search for the "best" coping strategy as though there's one, best technique for everyone. But our nervous systems don't all respond to stress in the same way.

Our bodies can have different physiological stress responses. Some people feel keyed up, on edge, and irritable while others feel numb, exhausted, or disconnected. These are not signs that you're "too emotional" or "not coping well." They are often signs that your nervous system has moved outside its window of tolerance. The more useful question isn't, "What's the best coping strategy?" but, "What does my nervous system need to shift back into my window of tolerance?"

Coined by psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel, the window of tolerance describes the range in which our nervous system functions best. When we are within our window of tolerance, we can feel and regulate our emotions, think clearly, solve problems, and constructively engage interpersonally.

Stress can push us outside this optimal zone. When this happens, the nervous system generally moves in one of two directions: hyperarousal or hypoarousal.

These aren't discrete categories but two contrasting spectrums of nervous system activation. Hyperarousal reflects progressively increasing activation, while hypoarousal reflects progressively decreasing activation. Recognizing early signs of these........

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