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When kids lie, steal, or curse, they may be trying to express feelings they can’t put into words.

Children often attempt to make others feel how they feel as a way of expressing themselves.

Under these so-called "bad" behaviors lie intense feelings that kids are struggling to manage.

There’s a reason kids behave badly, and it’s not to make their parents crazy. Why they behave badly usually isn’t clear to parents or their kids, but just know that their bad behavior makes sense once we understand what’s driving the behavior. At the root of a kid’s acting out are always emotions as well as a message or desire they’re trying to communicate. That message or the emotions often get lost because the bad behavior gets all the attention. But if only the behavior gets our attention—and not the child’s feelings, which create the acting-out behaviors—then the child will continue to behave badly. Nothing will change, and the two of you will get stuck in a downward spiral of bad behavior, hurt feelings, and negative narratives that could develop into serious self-esteem issues for your child.

Here’s what’s really going on with three specific, common behaviors, what you can do to stop them, and how you can help your child develop better ways of acting and communicating.

Why it happens. Kids........

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