Get unlimited access to everything VICE has to offer.

Turn off all ads on VICE.com

Exclusive New VICE Documentaries

Member Exclusive Features & Columns

Turn off all ads on VICE.com

Exclusive New VICE Documentaries

Member Exclusive Features & Columns

Turn off all ads on VICE.com

Exclusive New VICE Documentaries

Member Exclusive Features & Columns

4 Magazines Delivered to Your Door

5 Non-Physical Traits to Look for in a Partner, According to a Therapist

A therapist says emotional maturity, consistency, empathy, self-awareness, and respect are better signs of long-term compatibility.

Share on X (Opens in new window)X

Share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Facebook

Share using Native toolsShareCopied to clipboard

Often, when getting to know someone romantically, we focus more on attraction or chemistry than on their personality and other non-physical qualities. Think about it: after you tell friends or loved ones about the person you’re seeing, how often do you hear questions like, “Can I see a photo of them?” “Is she hot?” “How tall is he?” Etc.

Many of us have been conditioned to value looks over personality, but that rarely gets us the romantic companionship we seek. Rather than evaluating a date based on their appearance, it’s time to consider what’s beneath their facade. According to a therapist, here are five non-physical traits to look for in a partner.

1. Emotional Maturity

To guarantee basic respect, empathy, and kindness—all the bare minimum, by the way—you must prioritize emotional maturity in a romantic partner.

“Emotional maturity has nothing to do with never feeling upset and everything to do with being able to manage difficult emotions in a responsible manner,” says Kat Grassetti, LCSW, Clinical........

© Vice