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The Bookless Club: Where do you sit on the family dinner spectrum?

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What are you having for dinner this Sunday?

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And, more importantly, who are you having dinner with this Sunday? I’m talking about family dinners. Sunday dinner is often the one meal during the week that — no excuses — you’re absolutely expected to show up for. In many households, Sunday dinner isn’t negotiable — it’s mandatory. Maybe Sunday isn’t your night for family dinners. Maybe you observe Shabbat and congregate on Friday nights. It’s still the same thing — people gathered for a shared meal. This weekend being Family Day weekend, be it pizza or prime rib, there’s bound to be an uptick in attendance for a weekend family dinner.

For thirteen (13?) years now, Family Day has been a feature of our regional calendar. Originally slated for the second Monday in February, the date was changed in 2019 to the third Monday in February to align with other provinces’ observances. The impulse behind the creation of the new holiday was to factor in a day off between New Year’s and Good Friday. The idea wasn’t a new one — in 1994, a private members’ bill for a province-wide holiday failed to pass. The concept would languish until, in 2011, Christy Clark included the implementation of a mid-winter day off as part of her campaign for premier. Albertans, however, had the jump on the rest of Canada, and have been celebrating Family Day since 1990.

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The reason for the shift from the second Monday to the third Monday in February was strategic. It was hoped that this new holiday would be a shot in the arm for ski resorts and various winter tourism operations. By shifting the date, we could avoid overlapping with the U.S. President’s Day holiday. For the tourism business, what’s better than a long weekend? Two long weekends … in a row.

There are all sorts of Family Day activities across the province. Perhaps the easiest one to implement would be a family dinner, and there are plenty of good reasons to get one organized. It turns out the benefits of family dinners go far beyond teaching kids not to talk when their mouths are full.

The tradition of Sunday dinner is proving to be immune to the social erosions we all complain about. Statistics hover around the 60-per-cent mark for participation in this weekly ritual. From Harvard studies to food delivery services polls, the findings all indicate that there’s nothing but good that comes from gathering together for a meal. In fact, Canada’s Vanier Institute Of The Family references a wide-ranging “protective effect” of family dinners. Families who eat most of their meals at home tend to be healthier and consume more vegetables and fruit. Having as few as three meals a week as a family results in lower rates of depression, substance abuse and eating disorders. There’s also a positive correlation between family meals and academic performance.

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Sure, there’s going to be a pile of dishes to deal with following the meal, but there’s often something else. Spaniards speak of “sobremesa”, the time spent around a table after a meal. A time to digest and savour both food and friendship.

Here’s hoping your Family Day weekend comes with a big wallop of sobremesa.

Jane Macdougall is a freelance writer and former National Post columnist who lives in Vancouver. She writes The Bookless Club every Saturday online and in The Vancouver Sun. For more of what Jane’s up to, check out her website, janemacdougall.com

This week’s question for readers:

Question: Where do you sit on the family dinner spectrum??

Send your answers by email text, not an attachment, in 100 words or less, along with your full name to Jane at thebooklessclub@gmail.com. We will print some next week in this space.

Last week’s question for readers:

Question: What are your shelf stable staples?

• I, too, love to keep Ultra-High Temperature (UHT) milk on hand for emergencies or when I return from vacation. Just letting you know that it is still available in Coquitlam at No Frills and the Superstore. I actually bought some today at No Frills on Como Lake Road in Coquitlam.

• I just read your article about UHT milk and wondered if you had ever experimented with plant-based milks that are shelf stable? These are a staple when we go camping. The convenience of the tetra packs for space and saving room in the fridge until needed are a wonderful thing.

• I buy UHT milk to keep for last-minute needs — such as when I make chai and use up all my fresh milk but need more. I buy UHT milk at Your Independent Grocer store on Davie Street in Vancouver. It’s in the aisle that has canned milk. And when I have asked for it, the staff seem a bit baffled, so it’s an unusual request.

Christine Hjorleifson

• After our return from a long trip, we always indulge in a feast of motza and cheese. We order a supply of motza each Passover to stockpile for the year. I also keep a container of oat milk on hand. It is perfect for a late-night latte. UHT milk is not a must-have for this household. Also those three packs of Italian tuna cans are a necessity.

• I’m afraid I’m somewhat horrified at your embrace of canned foods and other plastic-infused foods, including milk. I buy my milk from a local dairy in a glass jar, pasteurized but not homogenized so that I can skim off cream. For shelf stable foods I rely on pasta, beans, flours, nuts and dried fruits stored in glass or silicone. For a quick meal, I rely on homemade soups stored in the freezer. Cans are lined with plastic which contains BPA or other plastic liners which may be just as harmful.

• I think the UH in UHT in shelf-stable milk should stand for Ultra Hard because it’s hard to find it in grocery stores. The clerks have no idea what I’m asking for. Not all stores carry this product, but I’m going to keep looking because it’s so handy.

• Still available in Coquitlam at No Frills and Superstore. I actually bought some today at No Frills on Como Lake Road in Coquitlam. You can get a one-litre, tetra-pak of 2% milk at Superstore and Sun Given Foods. The brand name is Grand Pre. It isn’t with the other nut-milk or alt-milk tetra-paks. Try the baking aisle, or where you buy Coffee-Mate, etc. I always forget where it is and have to search. To me it seems creamier than refrigerated milk. I haven’t noticed any change in taste. It’s a bit pricey but worth it because it will last months on the shelf and longer than regular milk once opened.

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