It certainly never happened to me when I was a lad – even after a particularly insightful essay on the causes of the English Civil War – but there’s a remarkable TikTok film purportedly showing Max Dowman, the Arsenal boy wonder, arriving at school on Monday (don’t forget he’s still only 16), and being applauded to the rafters by pupils and staff. It might of course be AI nonsense, but if it’s not true, it should be. Dowman has long been talked about for his extraordinary ability, and he finally burst into the public’s mind on Saturday with 23 minutes as a substitute in Arsenal’s nervy 2-0 win over Everton. Nervy, that is, until Dowman came on.

His balance is sublime, he seems to glide over the pitch and he has a staggering footballing brain. His brilliant pass into the penalty area baffled Jordan Pickford and allowed Viktor Gyokeres to score Arsenal’s first goal. Then, with Pickford up in the Arsenal box for a 96th-minute corner, Dowman picked up the loose ball, put Vitaliy Mykolenko, a........

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