DC influencer Tony P has returned to the spotlight, in a Washingtonian profile titled “Guess What? Tony P Hates You, Too.” Cockburn would be remiss not to point out that The Spectator was first to cover Tony P’s rise to niche internet local celebrity back in August 2023.

Tony P’s earnest tone has shifted significantly since then, as is made evident by the interview. He appears embittered by the fact that his brand-partnership earnings have decreased, from making half a million dollars at the height of his influence to now bringing in less than he made as a consultant (just below six figures). He is wistful about his “25 minutes” in the spotlight: “I stretched it out a decent amount of time. A year and a half is not that bad. I think 15 minutes is like, you know, Hawk Tuah.”

Cockburn’s favorite Tony P fact is that he’s represented by Courtney Klain, daughter-in-law of Joe Biden’s former chief of staff, Ron. Presumably keeping confused men in the limelight for a little too long is a trait that runs in the family.

A central theme in the story is that while the money is drying up, the snark persists. Haters, after all, are the most loyal of fans. Cockburn only keeps up with one person from high school, the friend turned enemy whose downfall he eagerly awaits. “I have this intense........

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