I am a carer. My husband has advanced Alzheimer’s disease and lives at home with me. I love him and am committed to caring for him as long as I can. But advanced dementia care is relentless: no weekends, no clocking off and little chance to stop and breathe.

Sometimes I need a break. Recently, I needed five days.

I serve on the board of a not-for-profit organisation. When the board decided to hold a retreat in Queensland, I immediately thought: who will look after my husband?

Usually, one of my two adult daughters can help. But with only six weeks’ notice, I couldn’t assume either could step away from her job and own life for five days.

I thought this was exactly what respite care was for. I started looking.

My Aged Care’s Find a Provider directed me to services listed as offering available respite for people with dementia (188 homes). I then made countless calls and sent dozens of emails and spoke directly to more than 30 dedicated residential and cottage homes.

I wanted nothing extraordinary – just a good facility where my husband could be safely cared for over the five days I would be away.

I sought a four-star or better My Aged Care rating so I could trust he would be properly looked after. I searched for places offering short-stay residential respite with dementia support and available rooms.

Not one of the listed facilities I contacted had a place for the dates I........

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