Stuck in traffic in the Wiltshire town of Chippenham, I chanced upon a road sign to Christian Malford and Sutton Benger. Placenames that could be people are dotted across our green and pleasant land – it’s charmingly British, somehow. Waiting to escape Friday night rush hour, I found a persona for Christian Malford taking shape. I had him down as a child actor in one of the early Harry Potters. Sutton Benger was more of a stretch, but I settled on a precociously talented young footballer of Anglo-Norwegian heritage. He signed for Chelsea with great fanfare, but never really made the grade. Poor chap.

The traffic moved on, but my mind didn’t. Once on the M4, I was soon passing Leigh Delamere, the glamorous heiress of an American biscuit-making fortune, now fallen on hard times.

Back home, I dug out my late dad’s AA road atlas of Britain (2019 edition). How I loved scouring the index in search of more imaginary friends peopling our placenames. Fun for a feeble mind? Probably. Deeply satisfying? Certainly.

First, a mention for the mononymous. Patrick on the Isle of Man, Paul in Cornwall – and then........

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