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Twice As Many Men Are Single Than Married Today. Are Women To Blame?

Young men look at dating culture and see women who are prepared to choose husbands but less prepared to become wives.

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There are now roughly 30.4 million unmarried American men between the ages of 20 and 39, nearly twice the number of married men in the same cohort. The predictable explanation is that men are to blame. Pornography, gaming, delayed adulthood, declining ambition, fear of commitment, social awkwardness, the manosphere, and economic stagnation all make the list of reasons. But after years of dissecting so-called “toxic masculinity,” perhaps it is time to ask what has toxic femininity done to the modern woman? Have women today become poor prospects for marriage?

That honest question may sound inflammatory because our culture has spent decades teaching women to evaluate men while treating reciprocal scrutiny as sexism. Women are encouraged to identify red flags, examine a man’s income, ambition, temperament, sexual habits, emotional intelligence, politics, attachment style, relationship with his mother, willingness to provide, and potential as a father. This is considered discernment, rightly so. Men, however, are increasingly discovering that asking similarly consequential questions about women’s character invites accusations of insecurity, misogyny, or an inability to “handle” independent women.

The frustration becomes easier to understand when you look at the culture young men are actually encountering. Social media tells women to know their worth, never settle, protect their peace, trust the ick, establish another boundary, identify the narcissist, and treat independence as a prerequisite for emotional health. Cosmopolitan recently described the practice of “decentering men” as a rejection of organizing women’s lives around male approval and the so-called patriarchy, while Psychology Today has promoted a model of “decentering men” built around preserving autonomy and identity while dating.

Of course, no woman should build her identity entirely around whether a man chooses her, and no one should remain in an abusive relationship for the sake of........

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