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Seeking change can be an avoidant strategy.

Routine and stability can guard against encounter.

Healthy change is intrinsically motivated.

We often think of change as a good thing. Indeed, change is what we fundamentally work on or work toward in therapy. We ask: what are your goals or how would you like to change? Isn’t this exactly what we mean by growth?

The idea of change, however, can sometimes be linked to (or be a product of) its opposite—stasis, immobility, or even stuckness.

Someone who is constantly “on the move”—literally or psychologically—may be privately treading water.

Traveling and exploring, developing new social and friendship groups, or trying out new self-improvement strategies may all give the appearance of growth and change, but may conceal larger patterns of avoidance and fear.

How can this be so? A defence against attachment?

One way to look at frequent change may be through........

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