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Resilience is a set of skills you can practice and strengthen.

Being resilient doesn’t mean you don’t feel fear, grief, or overwhelm.

Regulating your nervous system and taking small steps can help restore flexibility and agency.

Noticing tiny joys helps you stay connected to what’s good, even when life is hard.

Picture the worst thing that has happened to you this year. Maybe you got laid off at the worst possible moment (not that there’s ever a "good" moment). Or, perhaps you got dumped by the person you were convinced you were going to spend the rest of your life with. Or, you got a life-changing diagnosis.

What did you do after that thing happened? Maybe you cried, or yelled, or frantically called your sister. But then, you kept going. You went to bed and got up in the morning; you ate something; you got a breakup haircut. You found some way to keep moving, even if it was clumsy and tearful, and you are still desperate to grow out those bangs.

That capacity to get through the worst thing is resilience. And it’s not something you have or don’t have; it’s something you can cultivate, which is the best news I have for you today.

The American Psychological Association defines resilience as “adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress.” In other words, it’s the thing that makes you keep on keeping on. As researchers studied resilience, they expected that they would find a fixed trait – something that some people naturally have, and others don’t. As it turns out, that’s not true at all.........

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