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Consider the implicit requirements you carry to feel okay or good enough.

These rules often play out without a person's conscious awareness.

When rules are violated you may go into fix-it mode, which keeps you on a perpetual hamster wheel.

Developing conscious awareness for your rules brings you back into your real life, right now.

It’s natural to want things to go well in your life. You want your relationships to feel secure, your children to be happy, your work to be meaningful. You want to feel liked, interesting, included. It feels good to be in the sun, and we want to be in the sun as much as possible.

The problem is when these wants become rules or requirements for you to be okay.

I want my child to be happy becomes I can’t be okay if my child is struggling.

I want to feel included becomes if I am not included, something is wrong with me.

I want this relationship to work becomes if this relationship doesn’t work, I am unlovable.

I want my job to be successful becomes if my job is not successful, I am insignificant.

I want my body to look good becomes if my body doesn’t look good, I have less worth.

I want to be emotionally grounded becomes if I am upset or emotionally off, then I am........

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