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If you let it, your adult child’s repeated crises can quietly become your organizing principle.

Repeated rescue may relieve distress in the present but fuel dependence in the future.

Stepping back with love can bring both urgency and relief.

Here's a question I sometimes ask parents of struggling adult children. Before I give you that question, I want to add that it usually stops these parents in their tracks. That's because this question triggers them to become much more conscious of the constant grip their anxiety and problematic levels of guilt hold over them when it comes to their adult child. The question is: “When was the last time you made a plan without first wondering whether your adult child might need you?”

For many parents I coach, the answer is unsettling. I hear how they keep their phones close. Some parents have opened up about hesitating to travel or even altering their day-to-day plans. Many parents of struggling adult children share how their mood rises and falls based on whether their adult child is stable, employed, calm, sober, or in yet another crisis. Little by little,........

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