In my experience as a parent coach, I hear many stories of adult children who live outside of conventional reality. Unrealistic, even grandiose, beliefs often drive them. Some have dropped out of college, or refuse to look for work (or quit the same day they started).

Other adult children described by parents who consult me are insistent that they can work passively from home, still waiting for their music to become famous, or hoping to find the next secret to becoming independently wealthy. Often, these struggling adult children, who are in pain themselves, are emotionally reactive when their parents try to set healthy boundaries.

Underneath the surface problems of adult children are dysfunctional underlying beliefs. Here are four distorted thinking patterns that struggling adult children often imply, verbalize, or act out.

Some adult children inflate their dreams while concomitantly shrinking from effort. They seem lazy. This is because they hold lofty, unrealistic views of success without grounding themselves in the daily hard work and grind that their success requires.

Josh, 28, went through multiple jobs, often quitting within a week or two. Instead of developing a work ethic and grit, he streamed his energy into convincing his father that his music "will make me rich."He recently said........

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