If only we therapists could offer a surefire way to help clients steer clear of affairs. If only there were a strategy that could consistently cut through the heat of temptation with a clear-eyed view of the pain, confusion, and destruction that often follow. Unfortunately, once a spark is lit, it’s rarely extinguished easily.

The late infidelity expert Shirley Glass once offered a wise—and courageous—script for those at the edge of temptation. She proposed that when a married individual feels a flicker of attraction to someone else, the healthiest move might be to name it aloud, to their spouse. For instance:

“I had coffee with Lucy today, and I was surprised by how quickly our conversation became personal and a little flirtatious. And I was even more surprised by how much I liked it. It reminded me of how things used to be between us, and I want to find our way back to that. Can we work on it?”

Maybe the couple can work on the marriage. Maybe........

© Psychology Today