Understanding Child Development

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Children who experience chronic criticism may lose confidence in their abilities.

Some high achievers pursue accomplishments to prove their worth and disprove childhood labels.

Professional achievement does not automatically erase negative beliefs formed early in life.

One day, my mom took me to my daycare.

There was one red dress that I hated the most, which was my mom’s favorite. I hated it because it was very tight, and it made my belly look even bigger. I was kind of thick, and the dress made it very obvious. So, my mom decided to put me in that red dress.

There was a boy at my daycare who wanted to play. He approached me and started counting my belly rolls. One, two, three… touching each roll with his finger.

I was so shocked and embarrassed that I ran to the other room and hid under the teacher’s table. I did not want to come out. I never wore that dress again.

Looking back, the dress was cute, and my belly rolls were impossible to ignore....

At the time, I didn’t understand why it affected me so much. If this had been an isolated event, maybe I would have laughed it off and forgotten about it, but by then, I had already heard comments about my weight that I was starting to believe.

My stepfather used to call me fat cow, slow, and other things on the way to my daycare, so I thought I was too big, too slow, too bad etc...

When you hear the same thing from an adult over and over, it starts feeling like this is who you are.

As a child, you see them as grown-ups who know what they are doing, who always do the right thing, and who become the example you are expected to follow without question. Children don't have enough experience to question adults. If an adult says something is wrong with you, you assume it must be true.

When criticism is repeated by a parent or caregiver, it can become part of a child's identity (Cooley, 2005). Over time, these messages stop being just comments and start becoming the “truth” a child uses to........

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