MAGAFlation: Because nothing says ‘vibrant, roaring economy’ quite like having to take out a high-interest payday loan to buy three loose, over-ripened tomatoes and a tank of regular unleaded.

Gather round, patriots, and let us bask in the radiant, sun-bleached glory of our magnificent new era. If you look at the mainstream media—run by pathetic, sad-eyed losers and Commie Democrats who probably cry when they see a bald eagle—you might think things are tough. They look at gas prices hovering near the GDP of a small European nation, mortgage rates climbing high enough to require oxygen tanks, and inflation running wilder than a teenager in a stolen golf cart, and they whine. They whimper.

They call it a crisis. We call it winning.

At the historic, totally packed, and definitely not sparsely attended first-ever Republican Midterm Convention down in Dallas—lovingly dubbed Trumpapalooza—our glorious leader took the stage at the American Airlines Center. For nearly two hours of pure, unadulterated, stream-of-consciousness poetry, President Donald J. Trump laid out the master plan. And folks, it turns out that everything that was previously categorized as “painful economic distress” is actually a sign of unprecedented strength.

“Less than two years ago, the American people gave us a mandate to save America—and in 19 months, I’ve delivered on every single promise I made,” Trump declared, cutting through the fake news fog like a hot knife through government cheese.

Think about that! Are mortgage rates at 9%? That’s not a housing freeze; that’s a rugged character-building exercise designed to keep you from getting lazy and buying a house too easily. Are you paying $14 for a dozen eggs? Wrong! You are paying for freedom-infused protein, artisanally crafted to build strong American........

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