Get unlimited access to everything VICE has to offer.

Turn off all ads on VICE.com

Exclusive New VICE Documentaries

Member Exclusive Features & Columns

Turn off all ads on VICE.com

Exclusive New VICE Documentaries

Member Exclusive Features & Columns

Turn off all ads on VICE.com

Exclusive New VICE Documentaries

Member Exclusive Features & Columns

4 Magazines Delivered to Your Door

The TikTok Breakup Theory That Could Be Keeping You Hung Up on Your Ex

The ‘you meet them twice’ theory says the right person may return later, but a therapist warns that hope can turn into emotional limbo.

Share on X (Opens in new window)X

Share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Facebook

Share using Native toolsShareCopied to clipboard

After a breakup, oftentimes the last thing you can bring yourself to do is consider the possibility of never seeing, speaking to, or being with your ex again. (Unless, of course, they’ve wronged you so badly that you can barely look them in the eyes.) When relationships end, it’s natural to hold out hope for reconciliation, even though you might know deep down that it isn’t what’s best for either of you.

In fact, this is such a common tendency that TikTok has created the “you meet them twice” theory, and it has people pining over their exes for far longer than necessary.

What Is the ‘You Meet Them Twice’ Theory?

According to Alyssa Digges, MHC-LP, mental health counselor at Insight Therapy NYC, “The ‘you meet them twice’ theory is … the theory that if........

© Vice