Get unlimited access to everything VICE has to offer.

Turn off all ads on VICE.com

Exclusive New VICE Documentaries

Member Exclusive Features & Columns

Turn off all ads on VICE.com

Exclusive New VICE Documentaries

Member Exclusive Features & Columns

Turn off all ads on VICE.com

Exclusive New VICE Documentaries

Member Exclusive Features & Columns

4 Magazines Delivered to Your Door

3 Ways to Instantly Build Chemistry With Someone, According to Neuroscience

Researchers say connection isn’t just luck. The questions you ask, the way you listen, and even your body language can shape it.

Share on X (Opens in new window)X

Share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Facebook

Share using Native toolsShareCopied to clipboard

“We just have chemistry” is one of those phrases that sounds profound and means almost nothing. Nobody can explain it, nobody knows where it comes from, and somehow, when it disappears, that’s also inexplicable. Except it’s not.

According to a piece published in Psychology Today by educator and researcher Cathleen Beachboard, what people call chemistry is largely a product of the first few minutes of any interaction, and the brain is doing most of the work. The words you choose, the questions you ask, and how you respond all influence how another person feels about you, in ways that are documented and replicable. Here are three neuroscience-backed ways to intentionally build that connection.

1. Stop Asking “How Are You?”

Nothing kills a........

© Vice