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4 Magazines Delivered to Your Door

Things We Hate and Love Online This Week

By Adam Christopher Smith

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Welcome to Rated and Slated, the column that is terminally online so you don’t have to be.

For me, being young was defined by the inescapable sense that there was always a party going on somewhere that I hadn’t been invited to. 

As I got older, everything changed with the advent of social media, which provided cast-iron proof that such parties were indeed taking place without me. While I’m no closer to being invited, I can now sit at home and look at photographs and videos from the most exclusive gatherings around the world, imagining what it would be like to actually be there. Yesterday, I fantasized my way to Paris Fashion Week, where I moaned to Madonna about how Europe needs to raise its air con game and got some great juice-cleanse tips from Mossy. 

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One day, I’ll be front row at the Yves Saint Laurent show: getting hair advice from Austin Butler (he will, quite happily, let me run my fingers through his quiff) and discussing Super Smash Bros with Yung Lean. Finally, life will begin. Until then, I’ll just be sat here, waiting, for as long as it takes. It could be 40, it could be 50 years. But I will have my day.

In the meantime, here are some more fantasies and delusions that I’ve spotted strutting down the giant parasocial catwalk we call the internet. 

‘MAYBE I FUCKED YOUR DAD’

wink wink song and video out tomorrow ;) 9pm pdt/12am edt/5am bst pic.twitter.com/VjB5p2jCOc— Charli (@charli_xcx) June 24, 2026

wink wink song and video out tomorrow ;) 9pm pdt/12am edt/5am bst pic.twitter.com/VjB5p2jCOc

Honestly Charli, I’m not even mad, it’s actually great that you convinced him to do something with his retirement besides playing Wordle and trying to complete Netflix. You’re obviously very persuasive, so next could you please have a word with him about getting on Ozempic? If he won’t do it for the sake of his grandchildren, maybe he’ll do it for you.

The ‘JACKASS’ crew has been immortalized in the sky as each cast member has been gifted their own star forming a giant penis constellation.The final Jackass movie ‘Jackass: Best & Last’ releases in theaters this Friday. pic.twitter.com/fLp8fjS1VO— DiscussingFilm (@DiscussingFilm) June 23, 2026

The ‘JACKASS’ crew has been immortalized in the sky as each cast member has been gifted their own star........

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