It feels surreal to say, but as my youngest kid nears his 18th birthday, I can see the light at the end of the parenting tunnel. Not that being a parent ever actually ends, of course, and there’s still plenty of work to do in this final stretch. But it’s weird, wild, and wonderful to know that the full-on, intensive stages of motherhood are almost all behind me.

In reflecting on the 26 years since my first child was born, there are things I wish I could tell my younger self when I was deep in the throes of early motherhood. Here are five of the most important things I would share, which might be helpful for other younger moms to hear, too.

1. You were right. Relationship trumps all else.

When you started this journey of motherhood, you felt like you didn’t know what you were doing. Totally fair. But you had a philosophy that whatever challenges arose, whatever life threw at you, whatever frustrating stages your kids went through, your relationship with them always came first. You believed that if you kept your relationship with them strong, everything else would work itself out.

You were right. Relationship trumps all else. That philosophy has come in clutch time and time again, whenever........

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