The recent DC media revelry was thwarted by a blundering assassination attempt, and in my case, a drunken challenge from journalist Jim Acosta, formerly of CNN and now Substack. He asked me to “step outside” so we could settle our differences like real men. I was eager to oblige on the sidewalk in front of the Smithsonian Museum, where Substack was hosting its gala. His fury erupted when I dared approach the VIP partygoer Julie K. Brown – comically credited with having broken the Jeffrey Epstein story in 2018 with her series of painfully overrated articles in the Miami Herald. She has since enjoyed hero status, getting showered with every contrived journalism award. Julie has even had her likeness optioned for some sort of streaming-service drama.

I was therefore not to be so rude as to ask about the repeated defamations she’s been hurling at me. Julie and her little sidekick Tara Palmeri have crudely insinuated that I am paid by Epstein coconspirators because I dare to depart from the prevailing hysterics. She has also claimed that I romp around “harassing” the sainted “survivors” – pure fabrications, of course. I only wish the billionaire largesse was flowing in at the rates they suggest........

© The Spectator