Ever wondered what Custer’s last stand would have been like if the dashing but judgement-phobic cavalry general had in fact been an adenoidal human rights lawyer? Wonder no more! The long-drawn-out fall of Sir Keir took another twist today as he tried to marshal his troops in a last desperate defence of his position.

The cabinet have had to rally round Sir Keir by going to the monumental effort of copy and pasting a supportive tweet onto their official X accounts. While their social media posturing is all protestations of loyalty, I suspect that their WhatsApps read more like the burn book from Mean Girls. Except probably not as well-spelled. 

Tellingly, the devolved administrations have not done the same thing; the Scottish Labour leader Anas Sarwar staged a press conference, calling on Starmer to go, while the Welsh First Minister has gone mysteriously quiet. Both face electoral oblivion in May and probably know that putting pictures of Sir Keir on their literature will have exactly the same effect on their chances of victory as piping hot cat sick through voters’ letter boxes.  

Endless procedures, but all done with no........

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