One of the traditions of the state opening of Parliament is that the Yeomen of the Guard search the cellars of the Palace of Westminster for evidence of plots to blow up the government. Frankly they could have looked anywhere in SW1 and found that.

Just about the only person who seemed to be enjoying it at all was, bizarrely, Starmer

Just about the only person who seemed to be enjoying it at all was, bizarrely, Starmer

Other traditions were maintained as opposition and government MPs made their awkward shuffle to the Lords. One Labour MP shouted ‘not now Andy’ when Black Rod banged on the chamber’s door. Kemi and Sir Keir looked smiley for the cameras and pretended that they don’t loathe each other. Meanwhile James Cleverley was chatting to Wes Streeting; perhaps exchanging notes on leadership bids. Earlier in the day Streeting had been afforded a few nanoseconds of the Prime Minister’s time. The meeting had clearly not gone well, the Health Secretary maintained a look of quiet fury throughout, like a disgruntled mannequin.

Meanwhile in the House of Peers itself I counted only a handful of tiaras – clearly standards are slipping since the departure of the hereditaries. Lord Alli was making up for the lack of glitz by wearing a single diamond earring, as if he were Sir Francis Drake. The Archbishop of Canterbury sat heavily on the Bishops’ Bench, like a dropped bowl of suet.

The speech itself was incongruous, in that the King, fresh from his success in America – which was fuelled partly by his eloquence – was made to read out a civil service document filled with the meaningless jargon which the people who run........

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