The food and drink editor was taken with my idea for a piece on the challenges of outdoor dining in the big city, specifically Chicago, the big city where I live. “Do you know when you might be able to file?” she asked.

“Ma’am,” I replied, “this morning it was 23 degrees Fahrenheit. One of the challenges of outdoor dining in Chicago is avoiding frostbite. How far can you push it out?”

The number of outdoor diners in Chicago killed by shrapnel is remarkably low

The number of outdoor diners in Chicago killed by shrapnel is remarkably low

I would have preferred the Fourth of July. She gave me till the end of April. Fine, I said. Even in Chicago, two straight months of inhospitable weather would be unusual, setting aside that 43-day stretch when the mercury never got above freezing. (No joke. December 28, 1976 to February 8, 1977. Look it up.) But that was during winter. In spring, the temperature oscillates between 30 and 80.

The reporter bent on al fresco research must merely seize the day. I did. April 17. Normal high 52, observed high 81. My wife and I had a delightful evening. More on that anon.

Chicago doesn’t have a lock on bad weather. In Texas, judging from YouTube, they get hail the size of bowling balls. I’m never eating outdoors in Texas. In Chicago, this problem is unknown. Yes, we get derechos, which are sideways tornadoes. Based on one personal experience they’re freaky. Luckily, I was in the house at the window, about 100 yards off the line of travel. (Derechos are narrow.) Had I been dead center, all the trees would........

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