Nearly half a century ago, a prominent member of the south Dublin intellectual nexus was asked how he managed to conduct over many years a secret affair with his wife’s sister. He gave a two-word answer: “The Northside.” The explanation was as comprehensive as it was laconic. The northside is a different country – they do things differently there. And when it comes to the development (and non-development) of public transport, it still is.

Dublin’s transport network is an everyday scandal. Ours is the only western European capital without a metro. We boast the third most congested city in Europe – Dublin drivers spend an annual average of 81 hours (10 working days) just sitting in traffic. Fares for public transport are among the most expensive of any big city in the world.

Yerevan and Baku have metros. So do non-capital cities like Glasgow, Newcastle, Seville, Bilbao, Porto, Rotterdam, Brescia, Toulouse – and many more. But as the Dublin woman said while watching her son in a military parade: “They’re all out of step except my Johnny!” Everybody else has been doing it wrong – sure, why can’t they get the bus?

To delve into the archive of announcements about public transport infrastructure in Dublin is to enter a tragicomic world of self-cancelling statements. Here, for example, are two headlines from the same day, April 30th, 1983. The Irish Times: “Tallaght-Heuston electrical rail link planned by CIE.” The Irish Independent: “Govt. may stall electric rail link.”

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