I have started to suspect that I am the only unhappy person on the internet.

Not clinically unhappy. Relax. I am talking about the ordinary, everyday kind of unhappy. The kind where you wake up late, discover there is no tea, your phone is at 8 per cent, someone has sent you a "quick reminder" at 8:03 in the morning, and you immediately wonder whether abandoning society to raise goats in the countryside is still a realistic career option.

I cannot find these people online.

Everyone is happy. Well, I have nothing against happiness. Eat your cake, fall in love, get your promotion, go on holiday, buy yourself flowers. I fully support it. But this much happiness? Something is wrong.

I open Instagram, and apparently the entire population has collectively achieved inner peace. Where did I go wrong? Somebody's bio literally says "healed, hydrated, and unbothered." Unbothered by what? You post........

© The Express Tribune