The commies have taken West Palm. This week, the tony South Florida enclave and home to Mar-a-Lago held a special election for a vacant state House seat. Democrat Emily Gordon won, defeating her Republican opponent in a district that had been considered safely Republican right up until they got their asses handed to them. Arise, proletarians of West Palm!

In truth, the election is mostly symbolic since Republicans hold a supermajority in the Florida state legislature, but that didn’t stop Democrats from crowing about their win. “Democrats can run and win anywhere—even Donald Trump’s backyard!” said state Democratic chairperson Nikki Fried. “If Mar-a-Lago is vulnerable, imagine what’s possible this November,” wrote DLCC president Heather Williams.

I’m going to take Williams’ advice. Now that the Reds are painting the town... blue, let’s imagine what might be possible in November should Democratic gains continue at the torrid pace we’ve seen since Trump’s 2024 win.

I want Soviet-style breadlines, except for artisanal brioche, and the lines are only long because the brioche is so delicious. I want The Gap to start selling those cool Mao jackets. I want all those millionaires and billionaires sent to communal farms to work off their tax debts. I want to see Jeff Bezos slopping pigs!

This is what we’ve been promised for years, after all: The suburbs will be collectivized. The children will be issued Dolores Huerta lunchboxes—and litter boxes. Somewhere in a darkened back........

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