When Anjani Mishra became a mother for the first time, she thought she had motherhood figured out.

At the time, she was serving in the Indian Air Force. Her days began at 4.30 am with a run, followed by breakfast and getting ready for work. By 7 am, she was at the office.

People would often tell her, “Anjani, you are doing so great.” She believed them. “I thought I had some sort of superpower,” she recalls. Then she left the Air Force to become a full-time mother.

That was when things changed. Anjani was diagnosed with clinical depression. Her sleep dropped to barely two hours a night, and she found herself struggling with her mental health in ways she had not expected.

“Being at a job in the armed forces was easier than being at home and being a full-time mom,” she says.

Motherhood felt different again with her younger child. Breastfeeding took a toll on her physical and mental health, while the pressure to get everything right continued.

“The constant pressure to do everything right around your children and still feel great about it is real,” she says. “If a mother talks about it, she is judged and told, ‘Why are you cribbing so much?’ It’s sad, but it’s true.”

For Anjani, now a life coach, that experience changed the way she understood motherhood.

It also shaped the way she works with mothers who come to her feeling overwhelmed, exhausted or unable to cope.

And on World Suicide Prevention Day, The Better India reached out to her to share a message with all new mothers and their families: 

A new mother’s mental health cannot be treated as an afterthought.

How can families tell when a new mother needs more help? 

The transition to motherhood can be physically and emotionally demanding. Sleep deprivation, hormonal changes, breastfeeding difficulties, pain, recovery from childbirth and the sudden responsibility of caring for a baby can all make the early months difficult.

But persistent changes in mood and behaviour deserve closer attention rather than being dismissed as part of new motherhood. 

The World Health Organization estimates that around 13% of women who have recently given birth experience depression. In developing countries, the estimate is higher, at around 20%. WHO also notes that severe maternal distress can become overwhelming enough to lead to self-harm or suicide.

In India, a systematic review of 38 studies involving more than 20,000 women estimated the pooled prevalence of postpartum depression at 22%. The review also identified factors including financial difficulties, domestic violence, previous psychiatric illness, marital conflict and lack of support from a husband among the reported risk factors.

For families, Anjani says, some warning signs may initially seem small.

A mother may stop wanting to meet people or leave the house. She may cry frequently, withdraw from........

© The Better India