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Abuse is often about what was actively done to a child; neglect is often about what was missing.

One of the hardest parts of healing from loving neglect is grieving something you never experienced.

Healing does not require us to rewrite our parents as villains.

My parents loved me deeply. They also neglected me. It took me decades to realize both could be true and are not mutually exclusive. When I use the word "neglect" in therapy, clients often bristle. "No, my parents loved us!"

They picture the extreme cases we see in the news where a child is left starving, abandoned in a rat-infested home, or living in some other wretched condition. Obviously, everyone would recognize those situations as neglect. But neglect exists on a continuum, and many people do not realize that. I see another variety of neglect that captures the experience of many people.

What Is "Loving Neglect"?

I call it loving neglect, which at first sounds like an oxymoron. How can someone love you and neglect you at the same time?

People often hear the word neglect and immediately think I am blaming or accusing their parents of being abusive or uncaring. I am not.........

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