In our increasingly social media world, solitude is being lost.

Solitude is important for problem-solving, stress reduction, and learning to feel comfortable with ourselves.

It starts with making time for it, using it to push back against negative voices, & periodically taking stock.

This is not a diatribe about social media, or about how it lowers our tolerance for boredom, or about how it pushes us to live our lives secondhand, one step removed, filtered through an Instagram photo or video of our breakfast for followers who are not really following because they are busy with their own photos and videos. The philosopher William Deresiewicz points out that while Modernism of our last century focused on authenticity, our current one is preoccupied with visibility. Maybe he’s right.

But one of the casualties of this preoccupation is that, for many of us, solitude, being alone with ourselves, feels uncomfortable. A 15-year-old told me recently that she hates even thinking about her thoughts. When I tried to explore why, it wasn’t about dwelling on trauma, bad memories, regrets, or resentments. It was watching her mind “do its mind thing.” She just didn’t like it. Rather than herself, her phone and the world it contains are her best friends.

This........

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