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When change shakes our confidence, we turn on ourselves, and self-criticism drains us faster than the change.

A wiser and kinder inner voice helps us think clearly, adapt, and take the next small step through change.

Asking for help is how we learn together through change, rather than struggling alone.

When you're struggling with workplace changes, who do you blame?

The shifting market conditions requiring another pivot? The out-of-touch executives sitting around a boardroom table? The tired team members who no longer seem to care? Or yourself?

Our research, in different countries and at different times, keeps finding that when our confidence in change wobbles, the first person we point the finger of blame at is ... ourselves.

We tie ourselves in knots of self-doubt, let our inner critic get way too loud, and become ashamed to ask for help. Then, we work harder, faster, and longer hours, hoping to figure it out. And when that doesn't work, we start avoiding the changes or complaining about them loudly to others.

“When we're navigating changes—whether we chose them or not—we often expect perfection of ourselves, but that's not reality,” explained Kristin Neff, one of the world's leading researchers on self-compassion when we interviewed her recently on a podcast. “We all bump up against our limitations, fall short of our ideals, and make mistakes. That is the human condition. It is how we learn and grow.”

“I'm the Reason This Isn't Working”

The first thing changes tend to shake is our trust in ourselves. When we're pushed outside our comfort zone, self-judgment tends to show up fast and point out: if I were better at this, it wouldn't be this hard.

“When we feel threatened, our nervous system is designed to activate our fight, flight, freeze, fawn or flop stress........

© Psychology Today