Whether they're colleagues, clients, or customers, you’re sure to encounter difficult people at work. It might be someone who hinders productivity, rubs you the wrong way, makes you upset, or is simply annoying. When we encounter difficult people, we immediately form an explanation for why they are this way. We create these “stories” without conscious thought.

Think about a difficult person with whom you work. What is your story as to why they are so difficult? Perhaps it’s that they’re simply a jerk, or ignorant, or mean, or self-centered. Or perhaps you attribute this person’s behavior to an intentional plan to thwart or hurt you. Whatever story you’ve created, it feels correct because it seems to explain your experience of this person.

But here's a question: Have you ever thought about that person’s motivations?

Let’s start with the example of someone who seems to have it out for you. Their motivation may seem to be to "block your success" or "make your life miserable." Well, those are goals. The motivation is the “why” behind them.

Might their motivation be to look better in the eyes of management? Or to lessen a feeling of threat due to your relatively greater success or popularity? They may not like you, but dislike is usually not enough to motivate active attempts to........

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