How to Handle Bullying

Take our How Well Do You Understand Bullying?

Find a therapist to support kids or teens

Bullies use their bullying to maintain popularity, hiding their emotional vulnerability.

The most effective anti-bullying interventions tend to favor informal solutions over formal programs.

Finding people who affirm our self-worth may be more effective than having others defend us directly.

With a new school year starting, and some not-so-good role models for our children in the news, it may be time to recall what research tells us about how to deal with a bully. In a recent well-cited review of the effectiveness of anti-bullying programs and recommendations for solutions, Christina Salmivalli and her colleagues at the University of Turku in Finland found that we may be overselling efforts to address bullying through formal interventions. First, though, a little about bullies and bullying.

Narcissism and Attention-Seeking

Bullies need to feed their narcissism. They cannot stand it when someone tells them they are wrong. Or weak. Or flawed. They must always perceive themselves as smarter and more important than everyone else. They have, however, one flaw: Their need for attention means they need victims.

That said, not all victims are equally vulnerable. According to Salmivalli, the age of the bullied child matters, with younger children more likely to be influenced positively by programs that influence the culture of a school or community and make bullying socially........

© Psychology Today