What happens in the moments immediately after someone opens up matters far more than we realize. Research consistently shows that responses to vulnerability can determine whether people feel safe, accepted, and willing to share again in the future. If handled well, these moments can bring two individuals closer together than ever before. But if handled poorly, they can close doors that may well never open again.

From a psychological perspective, there are many helpful things you can do when someone opens up. But there are also a few reliably harmful responses. Here are two of the most damaging, and why they matter more than you might think.

1. Use Their Vulnerability Against Them

When someone shares something clearly meaningful to them, then that revelation is no longer an exchange of information. Instead, it becomes a revelation of a perceived weakness: a fear of rejection, a shame-laden experience, or uncertainty about how they are seen.

To then weaponize that disclosure — by mocking it, sharing it with others, or throwing it back at them later in an argument — would be the unkindest thing you could do, regardless of whether or not it was your intention. This is because it will threaten the core of their sense of safety in their relationship with you.

People disclose vulnerabilities most often when they are uncertain about a partner’s acceptance. A seminal 2008 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology helps explain why these moments can be so precarious to navigate socially.

The researchers proposed and tested a model indicating that when individuals feel........

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