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Confidence depends on success but self-trust comes from working past discomfort, and that lowers overthinking.

A question like, "Do you want me to listen or would you like suggestions?" goes farther than a pep talk.

Self-trust is strengthened by working through uncertainty, not being rescued from discomfort.

Every parent of an anxious, overthinking child does it. Your kid comes home upset. Maybe they failed a quiz at school, got left out at recess, got cut from a team, or got left out of a group Snapchat message about an upcoming party. Your reacting brain kicks in, and you rush in to "help" your child by reassuring them and maybe telling them how to see it differently. The good news is that you are acting like most conscientious parents. The not-so-good news is that, over time, your child is learning that hard feelings are emergencies and require adult intervention.

I see these patterns among the kids I counsel and the parents I coach. Parents do everything right on paper by praising effort, staying calm, and offering........

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