We chase success as outcomes but overlook how we actually spend our days.

Flourishing comes from aligning daily actions with values, not achievements.

When students, or professionals, sit down across from me for what I call a “Flourishing Chat,” which is a mix between life, professional, and health coaching, they rarely begin with a crisis. More often they say something like, “I know what I want to do… I just don’t feel that great about it.”

They describe futures that sound impressive: consulting, medicine, law, leadership roles at major companies. The plans are polished. The résumés are strong. From the outside, everything looks ready to go.

Then I ask a different question: “What would your ordinary Tuesday look like at this job?” I don’t want to know about the title on their business cards or their starting salary. I want them to tell me what time they’ll wake up, who they will spend their days with, what kinds of problems they will solve, what their evenings feel like when they come home tired.

At this point in the conversation, every time, students, and sometimes even professionals, can’t answer my questions. The conversation turns into silence. They have thought about what role they want, but they haven’t yet thought about what the role entails – or how it fits with the activities they like to do and the people they care about.

We are taught early to think of success as a possession. We accumulate........

© Psychology Today