Understanding Loneliness

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Loneliness makes society feel more hostile, and believing the other side is hostile makes us hostile too.

Polarization can feel too big to touch, but loneliness is something each of us can act on, starting today.

People with tight-knit social circles tend to feel warmer toward political opponents and more open to talking.

Volunteering, neighborliness, and hobby groups put us in regular contact with people unlike ourselves.

As a nation with a civil war in its history, we in the U.S. can hardly say we’re more polarized than we’ve ever been. But it feels like a close second sometimes, and the upward trajectory of our polarization's pitch is concerning. Most of us see it clearly but feel helpless to change it. What can individuals actually do?

Loneliness Is Something We Can Work With

Media and political rhetoric get plenty of blame for our divisions, and they do deserve it! But research points to something else that we have more control over: how connected we are. It turns out that lonelier people perceive more social conflict, and as loneliness increases over time, so does fear of social unrest (Langenkamp et al., 2025). Furthermore, the more partisan conflict people perceive, the more likely they are to support political violence against opponents (Mernyk et al., 2022).

In short, research seems to indicate that loneliness drives polarization. It feels intuitive, though, doesn't it?

On the other hand, people with closely knit social circles feel more kindness toward political opponents and are more open to talking with them. The same was found to be true for close-knit U.S. counties (Dillion et al., 2025).

So, how can we get closer, reduce loneliness, and come back together? There’s no playbook, but plenty of research has sought to understand low-loneliness cultures and has identified those conditions that appear directly related. From this, we can infer some completely doable individual actions that can help.

Volunteering is an excellent chance to interact with a diversity of people—different socio-economic classes, races, political leanings, and religions. Choosing an organization whose mission transcends politics allows us to do this without political divisions wrenching the works (Swader & Moraru, 2023). Non-partisan volunteer opportunities include:

Disaster relief organizations, such as the Red Cross or Salvation Army

A local mutual aid group or........

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