Take our Family Estrangement Test for the Adult Child

Find a Family Therapy Therapist

Parents may inadvertently create the very distance from their adult child that they fear and worry about.

Parent and child estrangement rarely has a single cause and usually develops from overlapping patterns.

Preventing, understanding, and resolving estrangement requires parental self-reflection and accountability.

In the previous post, we were discussing the beginnings of estrangement between parent and adult child, and how the empty nest stage is often characterized by rips and tears in the fabric of the family.

I have observed many common pathways that painfully (and sometimes irreversibly) point families in the direction of estrangement during this phase.

Here are some typical ones:

Chronic criticism, control, and conditional acceptance: Adult children may distance themselves from parents who persistently judge their choices, undermine their autonomy, or communicate that parental approval depends on achievement, obedience, or conformity.

Emotional neglect or lack of emotional attunement: A parent may have provided well from a material standpoint and fulfilled many responsibilities while remaining emotionally unavailable. Adult children may describe feeling unseen, misunderstood, or mischaracterized while they were growing up.

Abuse, intimidation, or persistent emotional insecurity:........

© Psychology Today