Achievement can be driven by a desire to disprove old criticisms.

Negative feedback feels more believable than praise.

Questioning old beliefs can help us pursue new interests without tying our worth to success.

Examining the stories we tell ourselves can reveal whether we are living authentically or seeking validation.

I want to ask you four questions I wish someone had asked them of me earlier. They might change the way you see yourself.

1. Who benefits from the way you think about yourself?

When I started first grade, I missed a lot of school because of a leg injury. I missed the basics of math, and I don't know why my elementary school teacher treated me the way she did. But whenever I struggled with a problem, she called me stupid. Eventually, I stopped doing my homework. I played with my friends instead of studying. I had accepted the idea that I wasn't smart.

When a child repeatedly hears that they are incapable, they may eventually stop questioning the message and start treating it as a fact. As I grew older, I became an honor student, received scholarships, and eventually completed my degrees in dentistry and beyond. I worked hard, and I can't deny that I'm proud of what I accomplished. But sometimes I wonder: Why was I so driven to pursue my goals? Was it because I genuinely wanted them, or was I trying to prove someone wrong? Perhaps it was both. The desire to prove someone wrong can push us toward real accomplishments, but that doesn't mean we're free from the belief that made us feel we had something to prove.

2. Who would you be without this story about yourself?

I received offers from modeling agencies. I was........

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