Why Relationships Matter

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Self-reflection can help us recognize our own relationship patterns.

A difficult period in a relationship is not toxic, but patterns of disconnection can signal a problem.

Relationships can reveal how we communicate, what we tolerate, and what we may need to change in ourselves.

We talk a lot about toxic partners. Toxic relationships.

But what if we are part of the problem? I'm not saying that if someone hurts you, it is your fault. It isn't.

If someone manipulates you, betrays you, or abuses you, that is their responsibility. But relationships are interesting because they show us who we are. How we communicate. What we tolerate. How we react when someone doesn't give us what we want.

When something in a relationship is not right, I ask myself: What am I doing in this relationship?

Because if we never look at our own patterns, we can leave one relationship convinced the other person was the problem, only to recreate the same dynamic somewhere else.

Relationships are messy. People are messy. You will misunderstand each other. You will have days when you don't want to talk. That doesn't mean the relationship is toxic.

But there is a difference between having a difficult moment and developing a pattern that makes the other person feel unsafe, invisible, or emotionally alone.

Sometimes “nothing is wrong” is the problem

Let’s take emotional unavailability as an example. Your partner might come to you and say, “Something is off.” And instead of talking about it, you say, “You're overthinking.” And then you go back to your phone, work, TV show, your life. Done. Problem solved.

Except it isn't. Your partner might want to clear something up that has been bothering them.

And maybe you don't want to hear what........

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